Leo and I just hung on to each other for dear life. We had cigarettes hidden in the pockets of our costumes and the two of us literally were having conversations like ‘What would happen if we died?’ and I’d say things like ‘Leo, I love you, I really do love you so much. You are a very important person to me and I’d have your babies. I would, I’d have your babies, really, it’s fine.
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papercutx: We may not talk to them everyday, but they understand us more than anyone in the world. You know they’ll always be there for you in your time of need when none of your other friends will. To that friend, I just wanna say I love you and thank you for always being a true friend. ashlee
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Littlest Things by Lily Allen.
Lilly Allen- Littlest Things
I dreamt about you again last night.
It was a beautiful dream of love and happiness.
Together we shall be one day. Me and you and You and me.
You’re all I think about at night. You’re all I think about when I have free time. You’re all I think about before I sleep, while I dream, before I wake and during the day. Its like I love you.
But that sad truth is, I don’t even know you. I think I’m in love with the idea of being in Love. My heart beats for someone who does not even know me. You know of me. I know of you. But do you know me? Do I know you? The real truth? No.
IF I start writing the down the real truth. I’ll get depressed. I don’t want the real truth to be reality. But it is reality. And REAL reality bites the dust!!!!!
I want my dreams to be real. I want THAT to be my reality. I want the love I see in movies. I want the love I read about in books. I want the relationships I see around me. I want the you that should be with me.
The thought of you getting a girlfriend, the thought that you’ve found another before you could be with me upsets me. I feel as though noone is good enough for you, except me, and even I am not worthy of you yet.
I keep praying that you’ll wait for me. Can’t you wait for me a lit bit. I’m almost done, I’m almost there. Two weeks left of school. 6 Weeks of an externship and then FREEDOM. LET FREEDOM RING!!!!
I cannot wait a second longer, til I can have my life back. I feel as though school has taken time from me. And with time, my friends. Without having time, I don’t communicate with anyone and in return nooone communicates with me. I feel lonely. Envious. Jealous. Of those around me. I feel happy for my friends who have found their significant other. I’m glad they’re marrying their best friends, and they’ve found the happily ever after. But they’ve also moved on without me. I’m noticing their lives from afar instead being invited to join the party.I can’t say it doesn’t hurt because it does. But why should I let that stop me. Its the way my lifes always been. To be left out. To find out last minute. To see the pictures and know that I should have been there, to see the person sometime later, and find out, “oh hey, im sorry, i meant to invite you”. Oh its okay. I was too busy. and I slipped your mind. ” Ces la vie!” It is what it is.
I’ve ventured off, I’m rambling now. My thoughts are all running together and i know none of this makes sense. But its okay. I’ve been dying for months to get this all off my chest. I want someone to talk to but I need the RIGHT type of someone. Not someone younger, NOT my mom. Some one preferably older than me, with life experiences with the BEST advice with what I should do. I don’t know what to do with my feelings for him.
I’ve told a few people. Thinking that would make me feel better if a few people know. And the people that know do try to help. But what can they do. They are in no better position than I am so how can they help me? I’m scared to talk to him. What do i talk to him about? What do I say to him? What if he doesn’t like me at all. What if EVERYTHING i know about him is false and i’ve made mental fantasy and none of its true. So that when I confront him, I look like a total idiot and insanely obsessed crazy person. What if there is someone else. What do i do then?!??!
I guess I just pray and hope that with time i’ll move one. Find someone else. But somehow…. my mind and heart keep telling me…. You’re the one for me. You’ just don’t know it yet and I haven’t had the time to tell/show you yet. But I WILLL soon. Can you hold on for me?!!!!!
You’re the Pride to my prejudice,the Captain to my governess. The Jack to my sparrow, the fluff to my pilllow (what?!?) I dont know. I was just trying to rhyme.
But besides the hooblah, when I see romance movies, where the guy gets the girl at the end or the girl gets the guy at the end , despite all their trials, despite not knowing they were in love with each other the whole time, I picture you and me. That is how I want our love to be. I want the nicholas sparks notebook ending. I want the pride and prejudice electricity. I want you and I want you to want me. I’m just afraid to tell you and I’m afraid of what you will tell me.
I wish I had beautiful words of wisdom to post to make this post seem intelligent. But its not. Its an honest post about how I feel about you and If I don’t get it out Ill burst.
I think about you all the time, I wish that you were near. I want you to be the friend that ever was so dear. I’d talk to you, I’d help you, to be the best that you could be. I know that in my heart, together, we’d be happy for eternity.
So i’ll finish this letter now my friend, and dream sweet nothings again. And wake to the thoughts and feelings that never seem to end.These wantings, and yearnings, and feelings that are known by but a few. Rhyme with the three hardest words to say out loud: the words…
I love you.